Home Truths

Every year at Thanksgiving (this year including 47 friends and relatives, ranging in age from my 93 year old mother to my 6 week old grandson) we ask each person to stand and offer a few words about what they are thankful for. Over and over, what comes up are love and connection: with a partner, a sibling, a child or grandchild. People don’t tend to talk much about money or business; it reminds me of that old adage: no one ever says on his deathbed, “I wish I had spent more time at the office.”

One thing I am always grateful for is that my house in Connecticut has an enormous dining room, probably the biggest room in the house. It’s surprising how often holidays come up when buyers talk to their agents about what’s important to them. People need a dining room big enough for Easter lunch, or Passover, or Christmas dinner. They want a foyer where they can put extra tables, or set up a bar (yet another example of why large foyers are NEVER wasted space, even in smaller apartments.)

So what makes a house (or an apartment) a home, besides warm and welcoming owners and plenty of food in the fridge? Here are a few observations, as important when living there as when staging for sale:

• A sense of entry. Everyone who arrives should feel welcome. This requires more than a smiling face (although that goes a long way.) Cultivating a sense of arrival in an entryway with art or furniture, an area-defining rug or a stairwell hung with a few pictures leading up to a mysterious upstairs, will immediately enhance the visitor experience.
• Artfully arranged furniture. A living room should beckon with comfortable chairs arranged in groupings designed to facilitate conversation. No spindly little chairs (they are what gave brown furniture a bad name!) Nothing so low or deep it’s impossible to get in or out of.
• A good kitchen. Even if you have a teeny kitchen and all you ever do in it is pour wine and make coffee, it’s a draw. People want to congregate in or near the kitchen. It’s cozy. It makes them feel connected to one of the basic purposes of home: offering sustenance. No matter the size, it should feel connected enough to the rest of the house that someone can lean against the doorjamb chatting while you open another bottle. And t should appear easy and pleasant to cook there, even if you never have!
• Natural Light. If you’ve got it, flaunt it! If you don’t have it, figure out how to simulate it with carefully designed lighting. The drapes-on-drapes look is completely 80s. It can make even the largest space seem confined and claustrophobic.

And the final ingredient in making a house a home: life. Let the people you love (and like) in for a drink, a meal, a holiday. Good moments accrete in a home like a patina, creating a glow which can be felt the minute a visitor walks in. That’s a feeling everyone loves.