December 21st 2012
HGTV’s Selling New York rides along with brokerages CORE, Kleier Residential, and Warburg as they try to sell fabulous properties fabulously. Here’s our recap of how the NYC real estate industry is portrayed to the world, penned by Angela Bunt. Episode air date: 12/20/2012.
In this episode, we follow the babe-a-licious Rebecca Edwardson, associate broker at Warburg, as she tries to help Steve and Colleen Savage find an apartment. After nearly 100 showings, the only problem standing between this family and their dream home is – drumroll, please – their son, Noah. Also featured on the episode is Vickey Barron, managing director at Core. She’s helping previous client Robert Leighton sell his massive 1BR, and has to contend not only with his a-bit-too-high price point, but the financial advice of his astrologer. God, people in New York are so weird.
The episode begins with Rebecca and The Savages discussing their next real estate plan of attack. They’re going to check out apartments on the West Side (nothing past 100th street because Steve says it “gives him nosebleeds”) and need to see something that’s located close to their son’s school. Rebecca points out that the next property they see will be the 90TH APARTMENT SHE HAS SHOWN THEM.
The first pad showcased is a $2.8M 4BR, 3BA, with a terrace *swoon* located at The Boulevard on 86 and Broadway. With a great view, open floor plan, and a ton of windows, by any other standard the apartment is amazing.
Colleen loves it, Steve likes it, but little Noah is feeling kind of meh. But why? Shh, don’t bother him he’s reading his book.
Perhaps in an act of frustration, desperation, or just plain delirium, the lovely Rebecca takes Colleen and Noah to a property listed way above their price range. Colleen is really liking the 4BR, 4BA marked at $4.435M. In fact, she says she’s liked a ton of the apartments they’ve seen: “I know Steve has very high standards, and Noah – of course – has his standards, and they can be hard to please.” Aka I hate my family.
Noah isn’t very impressed with the completely fabulous view, and says the bedroom is a little too small for him. Listen, you little twerp, your bedroom is bigger than my entire last NYC apartment, which I had to move out of because it was infested with mice. You’re gonna’ live in this apartment, and you’re gonna’ like it!!! Uhh, I mean… whatever you want, Noah. You’re a good boy!
Any Twilight Zone fans in the house? Anybody?
Despite the luxuriousness and general awesomeness of the apartment, Noah reminds his mom and Rebecca that it’s too expensive, anyway. So now they have this kid running the family finances? Rebecca, who clearly has the patience of a saint, grins and agrees to find them something else.
For the third round (well, our third round, their 93rd), Rebecca decides to try a completely different approach, and sends the Savages listings for apartments that are below their price range. Perhaps they’ll be so happy with saving money that they’ll be willing to make some concessions on other aspects of the digs. She calls Steve and they set up time to check out a 3BR, 3BA listed at $1.65M on 320 West 76th Street. Just one question: Can the two of them go without Noah?
(Sidebar: Does anybody else think that the dad and Noah are in cahoots, and he’s purposely telling his son to hate on every apartment just so he gets more face time with Rebecca?)
Although it’s on the low end of their budget, Steve is really into the apartment. This is the type of floor plan he likes, and while he hasn’t cooked in two years (wait, seriously?), the large kitchen area and massive countertop might inspire him to get back into it (clearly trying to impress Rabs with his domestic skills). The only problem is that butt-ugly wallpaper in the master bedroom. You’re about to drop $1.65M on an apartment, and that’s your major concern? The freakin’ wallpaper? With the OK from Steve, they just need Noah to agree. Oh yeah, and that other woman Colleen.
After the rest of the family checks it out, they agree that this is the right place for them. It’s a Christmas miracle! Noah even likes the green paint on his future bedroom wall, and says the apartment is muchos buenos. Well, at least we know that private school education is paying off. High-five!